I was glad to talk to Tran again last night. It feels good to be able to get in touch with those exchange friends even after they go back. So he's already graduated ... Looking for a job in law firm or gov't ... he's okay I guess.

I was in Boston for a few days during winter break. It sucks--that I didn't know he's from Boston until last night. MY GOODNESS!! We were actually in this small city last year without having a chance to meet up!!! Pathetic I know...

***

Chanced to read a diary of a first year. We talked a bit last term. I found so much resonance in reading his diary. I could easily identify with all those ambiguous feelings of loneliness, confusion, and of course excitement in my first year.

As a freshman, Carlotta is ambitious, self-confident, outgoing and always an active member--no matter during class, in her department, or student organizations in school. Despite her packed schedule, she's still doing well academically, while having much fun outside classroom. But who knows what lies beneath the skin of this little girl is nothing but an immense fear of being just a person in the crowds! The more she wants to grasp the control of the situation, the more vulnerable she feels. Walking back to New Asia after class everyday seems to be so much pain to her. She doesn't really want to be back to her room--her familiar room. Unlike her fellows, aloneness is no stranger to her. Indeed, for a long time, she has been a good friend of aloneness. She enjoys being alone?! Yes and no. Ask her. But chances are that she won't be able to answer you. Ask her. But "I know not" will always be the answer. College life, to her, seems to be more like a journey in a desert. She sometimes finds herself lost. You can't blame her for locking herself out. People come. And people go. Who cares? You are nobody in the crowds!

Of course I met some really good friends in my first year. Sonia, Long, Jack, and all my Aqua gals---they are the greatest gifts God's perfect grace can ever give. I enjoy their company. So my first year was rather bitter sweet.





But...





isn't life itself a stirfry of bitterness and sweetness?


If life is a dish, grap your own one, prepare your stomach, sit back, taste and enjoy it!


Of course it never hurt to have a few dearest ones to share this piece of dish! ;-)



Thank you Clement. You bring up all those old, precipitated feelings from the bottom of my heart. Reflecting on them gives me some insights--the little secret--which helps me to move on. :-)


***

It moved me when we started to pray for those victims affected by the recent earthquakes and tsunami in South Asia. I actually didn't realize the seriousness until I got to know the news on TV. So many loss of lives, homes, and loved ones. Perhaps many would ask about the problem of suffering--a never fully answered question. The incident is far beyond our comprehension and understanding. It's gonna help nothing unless we make intercession for those who are suffering and offer them a hand of hope and love.

I read the articles about the news. I looked at the time when the incident happened. It was on my birthday--Dec 26, on which day I was leaving NYC for Washington. It started to snow when we left. So fortunate that I am to be able to see the little snowflakes falling when many other kids out there don't even have the chance to see sunrise of another morning.

Let me close today with a prayer:

I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

(Ps 18:1-6, 30-31)