爭相請客
I used to think this snobbish and calculating cultural phenomenon is only popular among Chinese. But dining with several Canadians, a Hong Kong Chinese and a Chinese Chinese in a Hong Kong-style restaurant this afternoon reminds me that-- nobody is immune to certain downside of "cultural exchange."
In the first place, I hate the idea of fighting for the bill at the end of the meals! I'm not sure if the idea of fighting for bill to save one's face still prevails in contemporary Chinese society('cause I don't have many Chinese Chinese friends so far). I have never done and will never do that in my life! Eating out with friends is a "social activity" that I always enjoy but i don't see there's any point in trying to treat each other instead of sharing the bill among us. It irritated me to see some people trying to put the money into each other's pockets at the table. Forgive me for saying this -- this is the most undesirable, disgraceful, unpleasant, detestable, uncivilized ... (I can go on with a list!!!) side of Chinese Chinese character!!! I maybe biased but I've never come across any Hong Kong Chinese who would do that!
More importantly, this type of hypocritical act somehow spreads to other people. The Canadian couple, Kathy and Dave, who have spent 20 years in Thailand as missionaries, "won the victory" over the bill fight and paid for the lunch last week, saying that "We've been in Asia for a long time. We are used to Asian habit!"
Oh my?! When has this disdainful act become our -- we Asians' -- habit???
Damn it! Shame on those Chinese who fight for bill among themselves and spread this low and cheap practice to others who don't really understand the Chinese culture! Well, they could excuse themselves if they were still in China. But come on-- Given the fact that they are now in Canada, I feel nothing but shameful for being at the same table with people who still don't realize it's absolutely just and fair to pay for our own meals!!!!
I wonder when this particular flaw in most Chinese will be removed from their characters ...
討厭 !!!!!
Friday, February 25, 2005
It's 7:22 pm. Just have finished my dinner.
So much to do, so little time...
I've got to start working on my 10-page sociology paper. My short-term goal is to:
finish scanning a list of over 10 reference books about hip-hop culture around the world,
then come up with a thesis statement and at least 3 arguments,
and finally start writing a rough draft!
et je vais étudier le français pour le examen la semaine. Ce n'est pas facile! :-P
All these probably take me a few days. Looks like I have to work over the weekend. But see I'm still blogging-- even when i know it's not gonna help much. Bad Carlotta.
I've just got to know that my sociology exam will fall on April 15, while my film exam will be on April 29, which is the last day of exam period!!!!!! Awful! >.< I nearly screamed the moment I heard the date!!!! It totally interrupted my summer plan and made me to have to stay over the last weekend of April, which means I had to buy a more expensive plane ticket! :-/ My friend Sachie's last exam will be on April 26 but as she has to go back before that day she probably has to take the exam earlier. She said if she was not allowed to change the date of exam, she would drop the course. Errrr... drop the course?! After a whole year of studies? ... =.=" Wish her luck...
Everybody's getting busier as we head toward the end of this term. Things have been piling up since reading week. Sigh!
So much to do, so little time!
So much to do, so little time...
I've got to start working on my 10-page sociology paper. My short-term goal is to:
finish scanning a list of over 10 reference books about hip-hop culture around the world,
then come up with a thesis statement and at least 3 arguments,
and finally start writing a rough draft!
et je vais étudier le français pour le examen la semaine. Ce n'est pas facile! :-P
All these probably take me a few days. Looks like I have to work over the weekend. But see I'm still blogging-- even when i know it's not gonna help much. Bad Carlotta.
I've just got to know that my sociology exam will fall on April 15, while my film exam will be on April 29, which is the last day of exam period!!!!!! Awful! >.< I nearly screamed the moment I heard the date!!!! It totally interrupted my summer plan and made me to have to stay over the last weekend of April, which means I had to buy a more expensive plane ticket! :-/ My friend Sachie's last exam will be on April 26 but as she has to go back before that day she probably has to take the exam earlier. She said if she was not allowed to change the date of exam, she would drop the course. Errrr... drop the course?! After a whole year of studies? ... =.=" Wish her luck...
Everybody's getting busier as we head toward the end of this term. Things have been piling up since reading week. Sigh!
So much to do, so little time!
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Delightful weather today and yet I look awfully bad!!! Looking at myself in the mirror, I decided to skip my tutorial class this morning without a second thought -- I look absolutely awful, unpleasant, terrible, creepy ... whatever negative adjectives that come across your mind!
About the feeling of lost ...
I took time to reflect and tried to articulate it when I wrote my journal, I came to have some clues why I've felt such a way. She's such a heart-felt, affectionate friend and as I've said, I felt much loved during those few days. And now I'm back to my normal life-- being surrounded by lots and lots of people. I know sometimes it's pretty ridiculous that you're surrounded by so many wonderful people and still feel lonely or alone. In my friend's house, she is one of the few people I met and the only person I talked to during those few days, and yet being with her alone is already enough to set my mind at peace. No rush. No noise. No urgency. We took our time for sincere conversation.
It's simple enough to be happy. You don't need glamorous people or spectacular events that you can marvel at to be content because a heart which you feel connected to is what you really desire. It's the gift of love that touches the innermost heart.
It seems to be inevitable to feel lost in this big empty world at times. But I just pray that I will never cease to experience the fullness of His love. It's so hard to live without Him because all the human's love fades while His love prevails.
***
My day doesn't end here. I bet all the cells beneath my skin have been activated-- I'm always itching! :P
This evening I went to CN Tower with my friend. For what? For no reason! Just visit!
Stepping on the glass floor - scary~~~ but it's one of the best ways to feel the height of the tower!
About the feeling of lost ...
I took time to reflect and tried to articulate it when I wrote my journal, I came to have some clues why I've felt such a way. She's such a heart-felt, affectionate friend and as I've said, I felt much loved during those few days. And now I'm back to my normal life-- being surrounded by lots and lots of people. I know sometimes it's pretty ridiculous that you're surrounded by so many wonderful people and still feel lonely or alone. In my friend's house, she is one of the few people I met and the only person I talked to during those few days, and yet being with her alone is already enough to set my mind at peace. No rush. No noise. No urgency. We took our time for sincere conversation.
It's simple enough to be happy. You don't need glamorous people or spectacular events that you can marvel at to be content because a heart which you feel connected to is what you really desire. It's the gift of love that touches the innermost heart.
It seems to be inevitable to feel lost in this big empty world at times. But I just pray that I will never cease to experience the fullness of His love. It's so hard to live without Him because all the human's love fades while His love prevails.
***
My day doesn't end here. I bet all the cells beneath my skin have been activated-- I'm always itching! :P
This evening I went to CN Tower with my friend. For what? For no reason! Just visit!
Stepping on the glass floor - scary~~~ but it's one of the best ways to feel the height of the tower!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Sunset in Toronto
Haven't been to many, many places, but nightview is always an impressive thing for a city in my memory.
Beijing, Montreal, Quebec City, New York, Boston, Toronto, Hong Kong ...
The vibrancy, dynamic, and vatality -- it's the soul of a city-- where my heart clings to. I maybe biased consider the fact that I've lived in city all my life ... BUT don't you agree that it's hard to resist falling in love with a city when you're embraced by its splendor?
For the rest of the pictures, go to:
http://community.webshots.com/user/carlotta_at_ca
http://community.webshots.com/user/carlotta_at_ca2
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
這幾天 , 有點失落 ...
I have no clue if it's because of the schoolwork or what ... I have lost in my thoughts since I came back from the States.
Those few days were like a retreat, where I found myself totally withdrawn from the entire world. There I felt valued, remembered, encouraged, and loved. I was an entirely different person. I have a feeling that one day when I feel lost or find myself stuck in the turbulence of confusion, I know where to go -- Killen! I know I have the guts to leave everything behind and flee to where I feel secure.
***
It takes a long way to forgive, but it takes a life time to forget. It's always harder to forget what has happened. Sigh! I am blessed with a strong memory. :-/
***
Present is life's present- that's what I was told at an earlier age. But how many of us are living in the shadows of the past, or the illusion of the future and forget to enjoy the present moment? I'm definitely one of these people ...
***
何時
才能學會
長大的功課 0尼?
I have no clue if it's because of the schoolwork or what ... I have lost in my thoughts since I came back from the States.
Those few days were like a retreat, where I found myself totally withdrawn from the entire world. There I felt valued, remembered, encouraged, and loved. I was an entirely different person. I have a feeling that one day when I feel lost or find myself stuck in the turbulence of confusion, I know where to go -- Killen! I know I have the guts to leave everything behind and flee to where I feel secure.
***
It takes a long way to forgive, but it takes a life time to forget. It's always harder to forget what has happened. Sigh! I am blessed with a strong memory. :-/
***
Present is life's present- that's what I was told at an earlier age. But how many of us are living in the shadows of the past, or the illusion of the future and forget to enjoy the present moment? I'm definitely one of these people ...
***
何時
才能學會
長大的功課 0尼?
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Deepening of a friendship
I'm back again! Miss the nice warm weather in the south. I like both Alabama and Tennessee. I like the simplicity and tranquility of life down there. The sky scattered with oceans of stars is still vivid to me...Time spending with my friend was terrific. It just flew away. We talked. We laughed. Sometimes she joked. There wasn't a single moment that I felt bored. However intensive the conversation it may seem, I felt much connected and close to Christina now. I wish somehow I could stay there. Knowing that our relationship will never be the same again, I left Killen without any regrets--friendship can never be weighed in terms of time, energy, or effort-
It is priceless.
sunset at Killen
It is priceless.
sunset at Killen
Pictures of Christina's family
I met Christina's dad, Joel, Lauren and Ali during those few days.
While her dad is so intelligent, her brother, Joel, is a nice charming boy.
Both Lauren and Ali are beautiful! Lauren, as Christina said, is more like Peter in the Bible. She is impulsive and expressive. I'll surely remember her talking about the creepy men in Killen Park... hehe... ;-p
loitering hours away at Detroit
I'm glad that I was fine with all the plane transfer stuff. It wasn't as scary as I thought. Kat... she's exaggerated everything... Instead of having to run between terminals, I had plenty of time to read, grap a cup of coffee, watch the news on CNN, and see planes taking off. >.<
Me after 3 hours of ride from Killen to Nashville, 2 hours of waiting to be onboard after checking in, 3 hours of flight, an hour and a half of waiting for plane transfer at Detroit, half an hour or so of going through customs and security checks, plus 2 hours of bus and subway! LOL. Way too long. I'm so tired now. It's so good to be back finally!
Monday, February 14, 2005
It's been a real long day!
Too many thoughts on my mind right now... i know I'm kind of disorganized, but ...forget it!
So here I am in Killen, Alabama!! Can't believe I would ever come visit this small town in my entire life-- but I am here now!! Nashville is impressive to me, esp when the plane landed. It just looks so much alike as what I used to see in films!!! No skyscrapers, don't see streams of traffic, people, or large billboards... just houses and cars and highways, on an extensive piece of greeny. A couples of small lakes. And Killen is another peaceful small town.
It's a starry night! As Maury was driving us back here, i was amazed to see so many stars up in the sky!!! They indeed bring much light to my time here! :-)
And I have my friend Christina! It's SO SO good to see her! The 3 hour drive just flew away as we talked all along our way! I can't wait to see and experience what her life is! You know, esp after she got married! :-) I expect there would be much fun!
Rainy days seem to be no stranger to me. In my memory, it was always raining on the day when I had a flight. Sometimes just showers, sometimes it pours, the most scariest was typhoon. The torrents of rain was still vivid to me... But coincidently, it's always sunny when I got to another side of the planet-- a bright start! Not bad!
Everything went just so smoothly! I'm glad that God worked everything out! The only thing was I forgot to take out my laptop from my checked baggage. The bag was nearly on its way to the plane when I realized it! So I had to go back to the airline counter and asked if they could return the bag to me. I had waited for like half an hour before I got it back. I was so anxious-- I can't afford to have my laptop damaged, you know?! Then I had to go thru all the customs and security checks again! I was only relieved when I still had time to read Toronto Star... what a crisis... it virtually ruined everything ... praise the Lord that it didn't.
Christina obviously has totally different habits from mine. It's not even 11 and they 're already in bed! I know it's been a tiring day but you know me-- i just wont go to bed right away(which is why I'm still up writing my journal)! But it's good to see how the way she lives differ from mine. I'm not sure if it's too early to draw such a conclusion... haha... Christina and me are like a contrast!
For the first time in my life, I have such a strong feeling that -- I'm a big city girl ... and I'm so used to city life! Our upbringing is so different that the way we see things are so much influenced by it!
I guess I'm more used to be surrounded by different races and ethnicities back in Toronto. I felt a bit of uncomfortable being gazed on the plane. I think it's probably 'cause I'm one of the few Asians on the plane... just feel weird... It's more "white" here in the South, except that there're a whole bunch of Hispanics.
I've said this piece of entry was a bit disorganized...so much to say, so much to be grateful for, so much to look forward to!
So here I am in Killen, Alabama!! Can't believe I would ever come visit this small town in my entire life-- but I am here now!! Nashville is impressive to me, esp when the plane landed. It just looks so much alike as what I used to see in films!!! No skyscrapers, don't see streams of traffic, people, or large billboards... just houses and cars and highways, on an extensive piece of greeny. A couples of small lakes. And Killen is another peaceful small town.
It's a starry night! As Maury was driving us back here, i was amazed to see so many stars up in the sky!!! They indeed bring much light to my time here! :-)
And I have my friend Christina! It's SO SO good to see her! The 3 hour drive just flew away as we talked all along our way! I can't wait to see and experience what her life is! You know, esp after she got married! :-) I expect there would be much fun!
Rainy days seem to be no stranger to me. In my memory, it was always raining on the day when I had a flight. Sometimes just showers, sometimes it pours, the most scariest was typhoon. The torrents of rain was still vivid to me... But coincidently, it's always sunny when I got to another side of the planet-- a bright start! Not bad!
Everything went just so smoothly! I'm glad that God worked everything out! The only thing was I forgot to take out my laptop from my checked baggage. The bag was nearly on its way to the plane when I realized it! So I had to go back to the airline counter and asked if they could return the bag to me. I had waited for like half an hour before I got it back. I was so anxious-- I can't afford to have my laptop damaged, you know?! Then I had to go thru all the customs and security checks again! I was only relieved when I still had time to read Toronto Star... what a crisis... it virtually ruined everything ... praise the Lord that it didn't.
Christina obviously has totally different habits from mine. It's not even 11 and they 're already in bed! I know it's been a tiring day but you know me-- i just wont go to bed right away(which is why I'm still up writing my journal)! But it's good to see how the way she lives differ from mine. I'm not sure if it's too early to draw such a conclusion... haha... Christina and me are like a contrast!
For the first time in my life, I have such a strong feeling that -- I'm a big city girl ... and I'm so used to city life! Our upbringing is so different that the way we see things are so much influenced by it!
I guess I'm more used to be surrounded by different races and ethnicities back in Toronto. I felt a bit of uncomfortable being gazed on the plane. I think it's probably 'cause I'm one of the few Asians on the plane... just feel weird... It's more "white" here in the South, except that there're a whole bunch of Hispanics.
I've said this piece of entry was a bit disorganized...so much to say, so much to be grateful for, so much to look forward to!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
I'm such a procrastinator!
Oh my this is nearly the end of the day... I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't accomplish much today! A weekend passed, and yet -
Haven't started writing the article for the christian newsletter, which is supposed to be submitted last month. Looks like I'm asking for extension endlessly!!!
Haven't got the summer plan settled yet. Resume has never started...
Plane tickets are still unconfirmed.
Research for the sociology paper has stopped for some time and has never resumed since then!
Sigh! I feel myself such a loser!
Why can't I just handle things more efficiently and be more productive? SHAME ON YOU CARLOTTA!!!!
But no matter how much I feel guilty now, gotta start packing!!! Hehe... ;-p
I'm heading way, way south this time.
A bit nervous-- I hope that Mauricio and Christina can come pick me up on time.
A bit excited-- I'm seeing my friend!!!
A bit scared -- This is gonna be the first time I change plane myself (as all the planes I had before were direct flights)! Just hope that I have enough time for plane transfer. It scared me when Kat said she had to RUN for the next plane when she was in Paris !!! Aiya... =.=' I definitely don't wanna run at the airport in Detroit!!!
I pray that God will work everything out. Sincerely! :-/
Bon voyage, Carlotta~~~
***
Enjoy the pictures from Rosi in Europe!!! Reli jealous!!!! Folks can you hear the European soil calling me? Seeing her pictures only intensifies my wanderlust , my desire for Europe ...
Jealous! >.<
Haven't started writing the article for the christian newsletter, which is supposed to be submitted last month. Looks like I'm asking for extension endlessly!!!
Haven't got the summer plan settled yet. Resume has never started...
Plane tickets are still unconfirmed.
Research for the sociology paper has stopped for some time and has never resumed since then!
Sigh! I feel myself such a loser!
Why can't I just handle things more efficiently and be more productive? SHAME ON YOU CARLOTTA!!!!
But no matter how much I feel guilty now, gotta start packing!!! Hehe... ;-p
I'm heading way, way south this time.
A bit nervous-- I hope that Mauricio and Christina can come pick me up on time.
A bit excited-- I'm seeing my friend!!!
A bit scared -- This is gonna be the first time I change plane myself (as all the planes I had before were direct flights)! Just hope that I have enough time for plane transfer. It scared me when Kat said she had to RUN for the next plane when she was in Paris !!! Aiya... =.=' I definitely don't wanna run at the airport in Detroit!!!
I pray that God will work everything out. Sincerely! :-/
Bon voyage, Carlotta~~~
***
Enjoy the pictures from Rosi in Europe!!! Reli jealous!!!! Folks can you hear the European soil calling me? Seeing her pictures only intensifies my wanderlust , my desire for Europe ...
Jealous! >.<
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Oops...
Errrrr...
The plane is arriving in Nashville at 3:15 pm, and Mauricio* won't be off till 3:30pm. Plus it takes 3 hours to get to Nashville from Killen...
An email from Christina alerted me. Things aren't as easy as I expected! I immediately went to the internet and did more research on the shuttle bus schedule, airport terminal map, traveling time between Nashville and Killen, time difference etc...
Don't know if it is the laziness or the ignorance, I always have a tendency to oversimplify things. Thinking that after getting the plane ticket and telling Christina the arrival time, things will work out on its own and i can sit back, relax and enjoy my trip. What an alarm!!! Fortunately this piece of notice is not too late that things can't be turned around. I'll give her a call tomorrow to figure everything out.
Silly girl... she thought she was responsible for me and my money! And that I would complain "Well, I have made such an effort and you don't do your part..." Silly girl--somebody should shut my mouth if I ever say this! It's 6 hours of drive!! Esp thinking about after a long day of work for Mauricio! I appreciate you two make such an effort to pick me up! :-)
But on the top of these-don't you believe that God will work everything out?!
I do! =)
*Mauricio-- Christina's husband
The plane is arriving in Nashville at 3:15 pm, and Mauricio* won't be off till 3:30pm. Plus it takes 3 hours to get to Nashville from Killen...
An email from Christina alerted me. Things aren't as easy as I expected! I immediately went to the internet and did more research on the shuttle bus schedule, airport terminal map, traveling time between Nashville and Killen, time difference etc...
Don't know if it is the laziness or the ignorance, I always have a tendency to oversimplify things. Thinking that after getting the plane ticket and telling Christina the arrival time, things will work out on its own and i can sit back, relax and enjoy my trip. What an alarm!!! Fortunately this piece of notice is not too late that things can't be turned around. I'll give her a call tomorrow to figure everything out.
Silly girl... she thought she was responsible for me and my money! And that I would complain "Well, I have made such an effort and you don't do your part..." Silly girl--somebody should shut my mouth if I ever say this! It's 6 hours of drive!! Esp thinking about after a long day of work for Mauricio! I appreciate you two make such an effort to pick me up! :-)
But on the top of these-don't you believe that God will work everything out?!
I do! =)
*Mauricio-- Christina's husband
Friday, February 11, 2005
疲憊人生
疲憊人生
大家都說做人好累，我也這麼覺得。
要戴上假發、戴上面具、戴上眼鏡、戴上笑容。
穿上內衣、穿上外衣、再穿上外套，
穿上內褲、穿上外褲、再系上皮帶，
穿上襪子、穿上鞋子、再綁上鞋帶，
天天都得如此，直到上天堂。
Admit it -- all of us do have flaws in our characters and personalities. They are not unredeemable, though. The most pathetic thing is not having flaws in one's personalities, but being not able to see them. Stand away from your own ego, put off the mask, try not to portray yourself in the best light possible, stop defending for yourself-- for then you'll see this is just not the way it is. It's okay to admit mistakes, it's okay to admit that we are heartbroken at times, it's okay to lose face-- what's the big deal of not knowing everything? It's okay! OKAY! There's no use defending for your glamorous but empty self. Give it up-- that's NOT gonna work out! It's time to get down to earth and see what the world really is. Enrich your life with substance when you still have opportunity.
That's why we learn--
we learn to be a better person.
為學 , 為人矣。
Good luck, lady!
Monday, February 07, 2005
Why do they hate us?
Here's excerpt of an interesting article i found in the newspaper. I know it's way too long... wonder if one would have the patience to finish it... :-)
Feb. 6, 2005. 08:19 AM
TORONTO STAR
Why do they hate Toronto?
LINDA DIEBEL
"Do you come to Toronto very often?" a reporter asked him at a press conference at Lotto headquarters, on Bloor Street East.
"As little as possible," he replied tartly.
There were whoops of laughter from the press corps and assorted guests. It seemed natural enough. Folks like to poke fun at Toronto and seldom worry about hurting her feelings. She's a tough old broad, quite insensitive herself, so what does it matter? She's expected to suck in her stomach, stiffen her spine and endure.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Americans love to hate New York, but everybody has a New York story to tell. That's the beauty of it," observes Robert Racco, a graduate student at McGill's School of Urban Planning in Montreal, and a proud, if battered, Torontonian. "They visit New York in droves, and they keep talking about New York. It becomes their city, too."
It may be our own fault (and we'll return to this later) that Canadians don't share the same pride of ownership in their biggest city. We're just another city.
We asked Canadians what they think and they told us.
It would be wrong to suggest everybody hates Toronto. Karen Rumstead, a product manager I met in a skywalk over a frigid Winnipeg street, loves our city. She came on business last spring and has returned four times. "Toronto is alive — really alive!" she says.
"Isn't Toronto the centre of the universe? Haven't you always been?" asks ticket agent Jack Wood, feigning indignation, at the Calgary airport. He seems a kind enough man, patiently sorting out our flights. He's joking, right?
Toronto is, to offer a taste of our 3,500-kilometre odyssey, (with enough contradictions to make anyone crazy) rude, snobbish, smug, boastful, pretentious, obnoxious, arrogant, hoity-toity, brash, crass, uptight, workaholic, lazy, self-absorbed, self-centred, self-obsessed, self-satisfied, spiritless, cold, out-of-shape, unfeeling, unsmiling and unfriendly.
We are wanna be New Yorkers. We are the middle manager of cities, irritating to those who must put up with us, invisible to those who can leapfrog right over.
"All the big deals are in New York ... Toronto's irrelevant," says Edmonton lawyer Denny Thomas. "You wouldn't say it's in the same league as New York or London, maybe now Beijing, where so much power and wealth is concentrated. Toronto is just not a world-class city."
Not a world-class city!
A Vancouver hair stylist goes on about the "homogeneity" of Toronto. Montreal pharmacist Malcom Jue pronounces, with an airy wave: "We're more cosmopolitan here. French, Spanish, we've got everybody. In Toronto, it's just English and Chinese."
We're dreary; we don't know how to laugh; we dream in black and white.
Everybody has an opinion. In many ways, how people see us relates intimately to their own sense of identity. Haligonians tell us to slow down and smell the roses. Stop being so obnoxious. Montrealers think they have more fun than we do. It's that, you know, joie de vivre thing. They also think our taste buds are in our feet. Winnipeggers laugh at a city whose mayor called in the army after a spot of snow. Saskatonians recoil at our lack of manners. Calgarians say we're stuck-up. Vancouverites check out their own six-pack abs and perky glutes and snicker at our love handles.
And it's not just the people. Even the city is out of shape.
"Toronto is a concrete city, flat and ugly," says Nancy Nadeau, pausing on her morning walk through Stanley Park with her dogs, Joey and Tao. "I wouldn't live anywhere else. Here, I can breathe!" she says, flinging out her arms. She's madly in love with the West Coast. Naturally, she's from Toronto.
At a Tim Hortons on a Sunday afternoon, a man literally recoils from the Toronto reporter who so brashly ingratiates herself into conversation at his table to ask, "And what, may I ask, do you folks think of Toronto?"
His disgusted look says it all. He sees my calculated amiability. The question itself is so, well — so Toronto. He watches in silence as others express their scathing views. Occasionally, he rolls his eyes and snorts.
"We know more about Toronto than anybody else in the world," says George Laco, a retired union executive, "and they know absolutely nothing about us. We are insulted by their ignorance. I try to just laugh and think about how dumb they sound."
We are smug and live in placid indifference to life outside the GTA. We are like New York Boy in Sex and the City, who's never been off the island of Manhattan. We don't even know where they are. Too often, they hear a secretary's voice crackling down the long-distance lines from Toronto: "Can you drive in now? The doctor's got a cancellation. He can see you this afternoon." Do we think they live in Mississauga?
Canadians show no interest in claiming Toronto as their own, the way Americans proudly take ownership of the Big Apple I did interviews in towns whose endless outskirts look no different to me from Raleigh or Rochester. And yet, people would point a finger in the direction of Toronto and proclaim: "Too American. Ugh."
During the course of the trip, we heard all the Toronto jokes. It's a comedic sub-culture that may come as a shock to some Torontonians.
From Ted Worthington, a retired master mariner in Peggy's Cove:
Q: How do people in Toronto spend the weekend?
A: They wait for Monday.
"I don't want to be too hard on Toronto," adds Worthington, who is 72, "but it's just not sexy enough for me."
From Montreal pharmacist Malcolm Jue:
Q: What's the best thing about Toronto?"
A: The 401 to Montreal.
Biologist Bob Rutherford arrived in this area from Toronto 30 years ago to raise a barn for a friend before winter, and never left. "This is God's county," he says.
"Toronto might be a nice place to visit," adds Lawrence Abraham, originally from Ontario, "but there's no way I'd ever live there. Here, you can have a little personality showing. Not like those city slickers in Toronto."
So many insults. Enough to make a city pack her bags and head for the woods. But the saving grace is, for the most part, our fellow Canadians do love to talk about us — even the ones who say they don't.
"That's a stupid question. I don't have any opinion of Toronto,'' snaps Grace Manuel, in her Peggy's Cove kitchen, where she lives in cat-lady land. Feline table mats, tea towels, clocks, calendars, quilts and cutesy aphorisms fill her house. She has a kitty licence plate on her blue Subaru. All that's missing are the warm, furry bodies. She's between cats at the moment.
She does have an opinion, after all. She feels about Toronto the way her husband, Donald, feels about cats. (He spends a lot of time in the shed, whittling.)
"I just don't like it," she says, twiddling her thumbs. "My brother liked it, but he passed away ... I was there once and I didn't like the 401. I was scared to death ... How do you people manage to survive? " She catches her breath. "I don't like it here either. You're too close to your neighbours. They try to know everything about you."
Our city shuts down at sunset; we walk in fear, on dirty, crime-infested streets. "Wow, we got to see hookers and the homeless. It was kinda scary," says Krista Brignall, 18, a clerk at Luby's Food Store in Kenora, about a school trip four years ago. A night-time ride along Yonge St. led her to conclude: "It's the only Canadian city with American crime."
Aren't there homeless people in Kenora?
"Yeah," she replies. "But mostly it's the native population."
Mention Toronto in a Montreal restaurant on a Saturday morning, and there's a buzz. Jean-Guy Guyot toddles into Restaurant Lafleur for the heart-stopping breakfast special: two eggs, two slices of bacon, one sausage, cretons (tripe sausage fried in lard), baked beans, fried potatoes, toast and coffee. He's never been there —"too expensive, too many people," — but he's seen the CN Tower on television. He wears a red silk rose in his lapel in memory of his long-dead adoptive mother, Beatrice. "A saint, she was, a saint."
With so much to say about Toronto, patrons linger over cups of coffee, guffawing at the notion Montrealers could ever be told to butt out their cigarettes. Toronto bars close at 2 a.m. and you have to go to a government liquor store to buy a case of beer. Imaginez-vous, Madame.
Only one person doesn't join in. Throughout the morning, a man sits alone, arguing loudly to himself the superiority of Air France over Air Canada. A regular.
Sometimes, myths about Toronto find us wanting spiritually. Around the corner, on Carré St. Louis, Drew Ferguson, who publishes a McGill academic journal, sits on the steps of his 19th-century home on the square. He exults in his city's state-of-grace. "There's more humanity here than in Toronto, there's more concern for your neighbour," he attests. "If Montreal didn't exist," and he shrugs, "we probably wouldn't live on this continent."
On the same afternoon, on the steps of St. Joseph's Oratory, Montrealer Alejandra Morales complains about Toronto traffic. "Ay Dios, what a disaster."
Excuse me? Toronto traffic? She's from Mexico City, home of the world's worst traffic. It makes Toronto roads look like country lanes.
"To me," says Ludovic Laberge, "Toronto is like a big American city."
Drew Ferguson made a similar point. "There seems to be much more of a focus on money that I sense here," he'd said. "That's a very American thing."
By far, this is the most common perception about us: We are Canada's most American city. I did interviews in towns whose endless outskirts of fast-food chains and flashing neon look no different to me from Raleigh or Rochester or Des Moines. And yet, people would point a finger in the vague direction of Toronto and proclaim: "Too American. Ugh."
It takes me to the end of my journey, back in Toronto, to understand the full meaning of this comment and it will be a young Albertan who explains it to me. It's about more than looking or acting like an American city.
Evan Thomas, Denny's son, a U of T. law student, with a degree from LSE and a growing fondness for Toronto, describes it as a double-barreled putdown. It lumps the "rude, pushy, and insular Torontonian, possessed of the belief that Toronto is superior to the rest of Canada" — not like us — with the other favorite Canadian stereotype of the rude and pushy American, assuming natural supremacy and oblivious to the country on his northern border — again, not like us. Or, as Evan puts it: "It's two caricatures rolled into one and insulting to both.''
A pity, he says, to see Canadians picking on Toronto. "Petty squabbles are killing us as a country. We have such ignorance of each other. We hold each other in such contempt."
It's early morning in Stanley Park near the end of our trip, and nanny April Kamensek, 25, wheels her small charge in a stroller. We chat by the magnificent totems — sky chief holding moon, thunderbird, lightning snake, grizzly bear holding a human. The grass is wet and sweet-smelling from the rain; we stare at the ocean.
"I've never been to Toronto. Our ties are closer to Seattle or L.A.," she tells me. "I know some people in Toronto, but I don't know if I'd ever visit."
It's that sort of thinking which troubles urban planner Robert Racco at McGill. "As a Torontonian having spent some time outside the city, I have come to realize that its attributes often go unnoticed by outsiders," he wrote recently, in a letter to the Star. "The Toronto tourism industry has focused a great deal on how Americans perceive the city, but it tends to ignore how other Canadians view Toronto. Unfortunately, it tends to have a very negative image across the country."
I ask Ellen Flowers, spokesperson for Tourism Toronto, if her agency advertises domestically outside Ontario. "Not really," she replies. "Where we advertise is where the markets are." And, in 2004, those markets were in Ontario, the U.S. border states and Europe.
We don't invite Canadians to visit. It's emblematic of a larger problem of not relating to the rest of the country, just as they don't relate to us. It also hints at a darker underside to Evan Thomas's point. Our constant focus outside our country (as per usual) ignores the unique role we could play within Canada. Do we hold ourselves in contempt? Or are we merely oblivious?
After all, even New York City has to advertise in the USA.
"What about creating new markets? What about advertising at home?" asks Racco, during a phone interview from Montreal.
Nah, sounds too simple. He's evidently too young and imaginative to understand serious marking surveys, sober flow charts and the time-honoured way of doing business in Toronto.
The two of us push around concepts for a Canadian ad blitz. We'd love to give everybody $15 million. But a simpler campaign might work.
"Toronto. Give us a try. We're not what you think."
We're not, are we?
Photo credit: Toronto Star(Feb 6, 2005)
United they stand ... against Toronto
Easterners and Westerners find common ground in their loathing of Hawgtown. Snippets of what they said.
*EAST
Toronto is ...
"None too friendly"
"Not sexy enough"
"Dumb'
"Kinda scary"
"Ay Dios, what a disaster!"
"Not funny" (like Montreal)
"Homogenous"
"English and Chinese"
*WEST
Toronto is ...
"Flat and ugly"
"I hate it"
"Terrible"
"Too big"
"Irrelevant"
Feb. 6, 2005. 08:19 AM
TORONTO STAR
Why do they hate Toronto?
LINDA DIEBEL
"Do you come to Toronto very often?" a reporter asked him at a press conference at Lotto headquarters, on Bloor Street East.
"As little as possible," he replied tartly.
There were whoops of laughter from the press corps and assorted guests. It seemed natural enough. Folks like to poke fun at Toronto and seldom worry about hurting her feelings. She's a tough old broad, quite insensitive herself, so what does it matter? She's expected to suck in her stomach, stiffen her spine and endure.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our city is misunderstood. Canadians show no interest in claiming
Toronto as their own, the way, say, Americans proudly take ownership of the
Big Apple, or the French (as long as they are outside France) love Paris.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Americans love to hate New York, but everybody has a New York story to tell. That's the beauty of it," observes Robert Racco, a graduate student at McGill's School of Urban Planning in Montreal, and a proud, if battered, Torontonian. "They visit New York in droves, and they keep talking about New York. It becomes their city, too."
It may be our own fault (and we'll return to this later) that Canadians don't share the same pride of ownership in their biggest city. We're just another city.
We asked Canadians what they think and they told us.
It would be wrong to suggest everybody hates Toronto. Karen Rumstead, a product manager I met in a skywalk over a frigid Winnipeg street, loves our city. She came on business last spring and has returned four times. "Toronto is alive — really alive!" she says.
"Isn't Toronto the centre of the universe? Haven't you always been?" asks ticket agent Jack Wood, feigning indignation, at the Calgary airport. He seems a kind enough man, patiently sorting out our flights. He's joking, right?
Toronto is, to offer a taste of our 3,500-kilometre odyssey, (with enough contradictions to make anyone crazy) rude, snobbish, smug, boastful, pretentious, obnoxious, arrogant, hoity-toity, brash, crass, uptight, workaholic, lazy, self-absorbed, self-centred, self-obsessed, self-satisfied, spiritless, cold, out-of-shape, unfeeling, unsmiling and unfriendly.
We are wanna be New Yorkers. We are the middle manager of cities, irritating to those who must put up with us, invisible to those who can leapfrog right over.
"All the big deals are in New York ... Toronto's irrelevant," says Edmonton lawyer Denny Thomas. "You wouldn't say it's in the same league as New York or London, maybe now Beijing, where so much power and wealth is concentrated. Toronto is just not a world-class city."
Not a world-class city!
A Vancouver hair stylist goes on about the "homogeneity" of Toronto. Montreal pharmacist Malcom Jue pronounces, with an airy wave: "We're more cosmopolitan here. French, Spanish, we've got everybody. In Toronto, it's just English and Chinese."
We're dreary; we don't know how to laugh; we dream in black and white.
Everybody has an opinion. In many ways, how people see us relates intimately to their own sense of identity. Haligonians tell us to slow down and smell the roses. Stop being so obnoxious. Montrealers think they have more fun than we do. It's that, you know, joie de vivre thing. They also think our taste buds are in our feet. Winnipeggers laugh at a city whose mayor called in the army after a spot of snow. Saskatonians recoil at our lack of manners. Calgarians say we're stuck-up. Vancouverites check out their own six-pack abs and perky glutes and snicker at our love handles.
And it's not just the people. Even the city is out of shape.
"Toronto is a concrete city, flat and ugly," says Nancy Nadeau, pausing on her morning walk through Stanley Park with her dogs, Joey and Tao. "I wouldn't live anywhere else. Here, I can breathe!" she says, flinging out her arms. She's madly in love with the West Coast. Naturally, she's from Toronto.
At a Tim Hortons on a Sunday afternoon, a man literally recoils from the Toronto reporter who so brashly ingratiates herself into conversation at his table to ask, "And what, may I ask, do you folks think of Toronto?"
His disgusted look says it all. He sees my calculated amiability. The question itself is so, well — so Toronto. He watches in silence as others express their scathing views. Occasionally, he rolls his eyes and snorts.
"We know more about Toronto than anybody else in the world," says George Laco, a retired union executive, "and they know absolutely nothing about us. We are insulted by their ignorance. I try to just laugh and think about how dumb they sound."
We are smug and live in placid indifference to life outside the GTA. We are like New York Boy in Sex and the City, who's never been off the island of Manhattan. We don't even know where they are. Too often, they hear a secretary's voice crackling down the long-distance lines from Toronto: "Can you drive in now? The doctor's got a cancellation. He can see you this afternoon." Do we think they live in Mississauga?
Canadians show no interest in claiming Toronto as their own, the way Americans proudly take ownership of the Big Apple I did interviews in towns whose endless outskirts look no different to me from Raleigh or Rochester. And yet, people would point a finger in the direction of Toronto and proclaim: "Too American. Ugh."
During the course of the trip, we heard all the Toronto jokes. It's a comedic sub-culture that may come as a shock to some Torontonians.
From Ted Worthington, a retired master mariner in Peggy's Cove:
Q: How do people in Toronto spend the weekend?
A: They wait for Monday.
"I don't want to be too hard on Toronto," adds Worthington, who is 72, "but it's just not sexy enough for me."
From Montreal pharmacist Malcolm Jue:
Q: What's the best thing about Toronto?"
A: The 401 to Montreal.
Biologist Bob Rutherford arrived in this area from Toronto 30 years ago to raise a barn for a friend before winter, and never left. "This is God's county," he says.
"Toronto might be a nice place to visit," adds Lawrence Abraham, originally from Ontario, "but there's no way I'd ever live there. Here, you can have a little personality showing. Not like those city slickers in Toronto."
So many insults. Enough to make a city pack her bags and head for the woods. But the saving grace is, for the most part, our fellow Canadians do love to talk about us — even the ones who say they don't.
"That's a stupid question. I don't have any opinion of Toronto,'' snaps Grace Manuel, in her Peggy's Cove kitchen, where she lives in cat-lady land. Feline table mats, tea towels, clocks, calendars, quilts and cutesy aphorisms fill her house. She has a kitty licence plate on her blue Subaru. All that's missing are the warm, furry bodies. She's between cats at the moment.
She does have an opinion, after all. She feels about Toronto the way her husband, Donald, feels about cats. (He spends a lot of time in the shed, whittling.)
"I just don't like it," she says, twiddling her thumbs. "My brother liked it, but he passed away ... I was there once and I didn't like the 401. I was scared to death ... How do you people manage to survive? " She catches her breath. "I don't like it here either. You're too close to your neighbours. They try to know everything about you."
Our city shuts down at sunset; we walk in fear, on dirty, crime-infested streets. "Wow, we got to see hookers and the homeless. It was kinda scary," says Krista Brignall, 18, a clerk at Luby's Food Store in Kenora, about a school trip four years ago. A night-time ride along Yonge St. led her to conclude: "It's the only Canadian city with American crime."
Aren't there homeless people in Kenora?
"Yeah," she replies. "But mostly it's the native population."
Mention Toronto in a Montreal restaurant on a Saturday morning, and there's a buzz. Jean-Guy Guyot toddles into Restaurant Lafleur for the heart-stopping breakfast special: two eggs, two slices of bacon, one sausage, cretons (tripe sausage fried in lard), baked beans, fried potatoes, toast and coffee. He's never been there —"too expensive, too many people," — but he's seen the CN Tower on television. He wears a red silk rose in his lapel in memory of his long-dead adoptive mother, Beatrice. "A saint, she was, a saint."
With so much to say about Toronto, patrons linger over cups of coffee, guffawing at the notion Montrealers could ever be told to butt out their cigarettes. Toronto bars close at 2 a.m. and you have to go to a government liquor store to buy a case of beer. Imaginez-vous, Madame.
Only one person doesn't join in. Throughout the morning, a man sits alone, arguing loudly to himself the superiority of Air France over Air Canada. A regular.
Sometimes, myths about Toronto find us wanting spiritually. Around the corner, on Carré St. Louis, Drew Ferguson, who publishes a McGill academic journal, sits on the steps of his 19th-century home on the square. He exults in his city's state-of-grace. "There's more humanity here than in Toronto, there's more concern for your neighbour," he attests. "If Montreal didn't exist," and he shrugs, "we probably wouldn't live on this continent."
On the same afternoon, on the steps of St. Joseph's Oratory, Montrealer Alejandra Morales complains about Toronto traffic. "Ay Dios, what a disaster."
Excuse me? Toronto traffic? She's from Mexico City, home of the world's worst traffic. It makes Toronto roads look like country lanes.
"To me," says Ludovic Laberge, "Toronto is like a big American city."
Drew Ferguson made a similar point. "There seems to be much more of a focus on money that I sense here," he'd said. "That's a very American thing."
By far, this is the most common perception about us: We are Canada's most American city. I did interviews in towns whose endless outskirts of fast-food chains and flashing neon look no different to me from Raleigh or Rochester or Des Moines. And yet, people would point a finger in the vague direction of Toronto and proclaim: "Too American. Ugh."
It takes me to the end of my journey, back in Toronto, to understand the full meaning of this comment and it will be a young Albertan who explains it to me. It's about more than looking or acting like an American city.
Evan Thomas, Denny's son, a U of T. law student, with a degree from LSE and a growing fondness for Toronto, describes it as a double-barreled putdown. It lumps the "rude, pushy, and insular Torontonian, possessed of the belief that Toronto is superior to the rest of Canada" — not like us — with the other favorite Canadian stereotype of the rude and pushy American, assuming natural supremacy and oblivious to the country on his northern border — again, not like us. Or, as Evan puts it: "It's two caricatures rolled into one and insulting to both.''
A pity, he says, to see Canadians picking on Toronto. "Petty squabbles are killing us as a country. We have such ignorance of each other. We hold each other in such contempt."
It's early morning in Stanley Park near the end of our trip, and nanny April Kamensek, 25, wheels her small charge in a stroller. We chat by the magnificent totems — sky chief holding moon, thunderbird, lightning snake, grizzly bear holding a human. The grass is wet and sweet-smelling from the rain; we stare at the ocean.
"I've never been to Toronto. Our ties are closer to Seattle or L.A.," she tells me. "I know some people in Toronto, but I don't know if I'd ever visit."
It's that sort of thinking which troubles urban planner Robert Racco at McGill. "As a Torontonian having spent some time outside the city, I have come to realize that its attributes often go unnoticed by outsiders," he wrote recently, in a letter to the Star. "The Toronto tourism industry has focused a great deal on how Americans perceive the city, but it tends to ignore how other Canadians view Toronto. Unfortunately, it tends to have a very negative image across the country."
I ask Ellen Flowers, spokesperson for Tourism Toronto, if her agency advertises domestically outside Ontario. "Not really," she replies. "Where we advertise is where the markets are." And, in 2004, those markets were in Ontario, the U.S. border states and Europe.
We don't invite Canadians to visit. It's emblematic of a larger problem of not relating to the rest of the country, just as they don't relate to us. It also hints at a darker underside to Evan Thomas's point. Our constant focus outside our country (as per usual) ignores the unique role we could play within Canada. Do we hold ourselves in contempt? Or are we merely oblivious?
After all, even New York City has to advertise in the USA.
"What about creating new markets? What about advertising at home?" asks Racco, during a phone interview from Montreal.
Nah, sounds too simple. He's evidently too young and imaginative to understand serious marking surveys, sober flow charts and the time-honoured way of doing business in Toronto.
The two of us push around concepts for a Canadian ad blitz. We'd love to give everybody $15 million. But a simpler campaign might work.
"Toronto. Give us a try. We're not what you think."
We're not, are we?
Photo credit: Toronto Star(Feb 6, 2005)
United they stand ... against Toronto
Easterners and Westerners find common ground in their loathing of Hawgtown. Snippets of what they said.
*EAST
Toronto is ...
"None too friendly"
"Not sexy enough"
"Dumb'
"Kinda scary"
"Ay Dios, what a disaster!"
"Not funny" (like Montreal)
"Homogenous"
"English and Chinese"
*WEST
Toronto is ...
"Flat and ugly"
"I hate it"
"Terrible"
"Too big"
"Irrelevant"
Sunday, February 06, 2005
You don't have to open the door to let sadness come in. He is always an unwanted guest. Always. You can simply switch off the lights and sit there, he will come in without knocking. He scares you with his ugly head, until you have no strength to scream, nor cry aloud at all.
Happiness is a rare guest, eh? You gotta open the door and invite him in! Invite him in!
Tragedy is everywhere. Happiness needs intention. Intention needs ... invention.
To be happy or not, it's a matter of choice. :-)
***
The price of being "addicted" to sth is too high. It isn't necessarily destructive, but one would undoubtedly devote his/her whole life to that. Obsession, addiction, and then devotion?! Is it an universally valid sequence? Who can tell whether it worths it or not?
***
Hate crime law and homophobia
On November 17, 2001, Aaron Webster, a 42 year-old gay man, was beaten to death in a vicious attack in Vancouver. Tim Chisholm, Aaron's friend for 15 years, discovered Aaron's bloodied body, naked except for his hiking boots, in a parking lot in Stanley Park. Aaron had been bludgeoned with either a baseball bat or a pool cue by a group of three to four men. After phoning 911, Chisholm attempted CPR on his unconscious friend. It was no use. Aaron died in Chisholm's arms before help could arrive.
This brutal murder is believed to have been British Columbia's first fatal "gay bashing." At a memorial service for Webster that drew 1,500 people, Vancouver Police Inspector Dave Jones identified Webster as the victim of " a hate crime, pure and simple" and pledged that the city's police department would "do everything in our power" to find the perpetuators and "bring them to justice" (Associated Press, 2001; Nagle, 2001).
Hate crimes are criminal acts motivated by a victim's race, religion, or ethnicity. In 1999, following the "gay bashing" incident, Justice Minister Anne McLellan announced that she would introduce amendments to protect lesbians and gays from hate crimes. The underlying issue is whether crimes motivated by the victim's sexual orientation are the same as crimes motivated by the victim's race, religion, or ethnicity. But isn't murder considered to be a total unacceptable criminal act in today's civilized world ? Nobody should excuse themselves from any murderous acts for the victim's sexual orientation. Their acts can never be justified by the victim's perceived homosexuality.
Legalization of the same-sex marriage has been a hot topic these days. Predictably there is a panic over the impact brought the legislation. I don't want to oppose it without giving it a thought, or because I'm christian. But there's one thing I don't understand. If we respect people who share different religious beliefs as we do and thereby their freedom and rights in this secular world, why can't do respect those who don't share the "normal" sexual orientation as most people do? Why do we point fingers to those homosexuals for their deviations and say they have sinned when we still find peace with those muslims, indians, or buddhists who worship other gods? If they are considered sinners, those non-believers are sinners! Everybody is sinners! If we respect the rights and privileges of some sinners, all the while backlashing other sinners, doesn't that sound like a double standard? I don't understand.
***
Happiness is a rare guest, eh? You gotta open the door and invite him in! Invite him in!
Tragedy is everywhere. Happiness needs intention. Intention needs ... invention.
To be happy or not, it's a matter of choice. :-)
***
The price of being "addicted" to sth is too high. It isn't necessarily destructive, but one would undoubtedly devote his/her whole life to that. Obsession, addiction, and then devotion?! Is it an universally valid sequence? Who can tell whether it worths it or not?
***
Hate crime law and homophobia
On November 17, 2001, Aaron Webster, a 42 year-old gay man, was beaten to death in a vicious attack in Vancouver. Tim Chisholm, Aaron's friend for 15 years, discovered Aaron's bloodied body, naked except for his hiking boots, in a parking lot in Stanley Park. Aaron had been bludgeoned with either a baseball bat or a pool cue by a group of three to four men. After phoning 911, Chisholm attempted CPR on his unconscious friend. It was no use. Aaron died in Chisholm's arms before help could arrive.
This brutal murder is believed to have been British Columbia's first fatal "gay bashing." At a memorial service for Webster that drew 1,500 people, Vancouver Police Inspector Dave Jones identified Webster as the victim of " a hate crime, pure and simple" and pledged that the city's police department would "do everything in our power" to find the perpetuators and "bring them to justice" (Associated Press, 2001; Nagle, 2001).
Hate crimes are criminal acts motivated by a victim's race, religion, or ethnicity. In 1999, following the "gay bashing" incident, Justice Minister Anne McLellan announced that she would introduce amendments to protect lesbians and gays from hate crimes. The underlying issue is whether crimes motivated by the victim's sexual orientation are the same as crimes motivated by the victim's race, religion, or ethnicity. But isn't murder considered to be a total unacceptable criminal act in today's civilized world ? Nobody should excuse themselves from any murderous acts for the victim's sexual orientation. Their acts can never be justified by the victim's perceived homosexuality.
Legalization of the same-sex marriage has been a hot topic these days. Predictably there is a panic over the impact brought the legislation. I don't want to oppose it without giving it a thought, or because I'm christian. But there's one thing I don't understand. If we respect people who share different religious beliefs as we do and thereby their freedom and rights in this secular world, why can't do respect those who don't share the "normal" sexual orientation as most people do? Why do we point fingers to those homosexuals for their deviations and say they have sinned when we still find peace with those muslims, indians, or buddhists who worship other gods? If they are considered sinners, those non-believers are sinners! Everybody is sinners! If we respect the rights and privileges of some sinners, all the while backlashing other sinners, doesn't that sound like a double standard? I don't understand.
***
Friday, February 04, 2005
Haya... at the edge of bankrupcy... esp after purchasing the plane ticket. Keep telling myself-- it doesn't matter! I got to see my girlfriend! Super looking forward to the reading week!
***
Interesting to find the transformation of my mood today ...
This is what I wrote this afternoon:
"Have you ever found some of your strengths are far too much for you? I have! I don't blame myself for having such a good memory of both regconizing and remembering people's faces. It helps -- at least in a lot of occasions.
But walking on campus,I was just surprised to find that a lot of strangers who passed by me actually have seemingly familiar faces. Weird I say. I don't get to know these people and yet every day we just pass and maybe touch the shoulders' of each other. It bothers them not. But it bothers me! I'm the person who remember their faces. It's far too overwhelming for me to see, or to consciously know that --somehow I know that person. Too overwhelming. I would rather have poorer memory than I do now. If that is not the person I'm supposed to know, why can't I just forget about it? Why their little details of faces, their facial expressions, and flashes of memory about them remain in the "database" of my mind? Can't it automatically clear up some "files" that have not been opened from time to time? Too attentive I am. Too much of a good thing. Realizing that you regconize people who you know they don't recognize you. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. I wish I had a smaller brain. "
Hehe... but when I was lining up for food at student center tonight, I felt somebody from behind approached me. I turned my head. It was Lennox!
"I was sitting over there(pointing to the seat) when I saw your back. I recognized your jacket and haircut and I thought it was you. So how is it going?"
Oh my!!! Haven't been to the small group for such a long time! I thought I'm not a valued member in that group at all!! Plus-- as an Asian, I think I can barely be noticed by any non-Asians here! But I was distinguished by him -- from the back! :-)
As I was heading back to residence, guess who I met? I chanced to see Hugo!!! Unlike other internationals, he immediately spotted me as I passed by!!! What better thing to be greeted by a friend with smiles and hugs? I could feel it -- that couldn't be fake!
And so... haha... I'm feeling great now. C'est la vie~~~ ;-)
***
Interesting to find the transformation of my mood today ...
This is what I wrote this afternoon:
"Have you ever found some of your strengths are far too much for you? I have! I don't blame myself for having such a good memory of both regconizing and remembering people's faces. It helps -- at least in a lot of occasions.
But walking on campus,I was just surprised to find that a lot of strangers who passed by me actually have seemingly familiar faces. Weird I say. I don't get to know these people and yet every day we just pass and maybe touch the shoulders' of each other. It bothers them not. But it bothers me! I'm the person who remember their faces. It's far too overwhelming for me to see, or to consciously know that --somehow I know that person. Too overwhelming. I would rather have poorer memory than I do now. If that is not the person I'm supposed to know, why can't I just forget about it? Why their little details of faces, their facial expressions, and flashes of memory about them remain in the "database" of my mind? Can't it automatically clear up some "files" that have not been opened from time to time? Too attentive I am. Too much of a good thing. Realizing that you regconize people who you know they don't recognize you. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. I wish I had a smaller brain. "
Hehe... but when I was lining up for food at student center tonight, I felt somebody from behind approached me. I turned my head. It was Lennox!
"I was sitting over there(pointing to the seat) when I saw your back. I recognized your jacket and haircut and I thought it was you. So how is it going?"
Oh my!!! Haven't been to the small group for such a long time! I thought I'm not a valued member in that group at all!! Plus-- as an Asian, I think I can barely be noticed by any non-Asians here! But I was distinguished by him -- from the back! :-)
As I was heading back to residence, guess who I met? I chanced to see Hugo!!! Unlike other internationals, he immediately spotted me as I passed by!!! What better thing to be greeted by a friend with smiles and hugs? I could feel it -- that couldn't be fake!
And so... haha... I'm feeling great now. C'est la vie~~~ ;-)
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
The process of searching is always ...
>.<
>.<
>.<
苦惱 ...
>.<
麻煩 ...
>.<
纏繞不放 ...
>.<
想不開 ...
and yet when you're so obsessed and fasinated,
everything in the surrounding will become blurry.
*************************************************
Still have faith in life itself.
Am not gonna let the passion go,
so I'll follow it to wherever it takes me...
>.<
>.<
>.<
苦惱 ...
>.<
麻煩 ...
>.<
纏繞不放 ...
>.<
想不開 ...
and yet when you're so obsessed and fasinated,
everything in the surrounding will become blurry.
*************************************************
Still have faith in life itself.
Am not gonna let the passion go,
so I'll follow it to wherever it takes me...
