can't resist saying that finally--
Come to North America, RoSi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's only an ocean away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=.="excuse me if i sound insane....
Saturday, January 29, 2005
A Looooooooooong chat!!!!!!!!!
I broke my own guinness record--
I chatted with Rosi* for nearly 4 hours from afternoon till evening on MSN!!!
An exceptionally funny German friend,
cooking in residence,
contact with family and friends,
noble traveling plans,
hilarious traveling adventures,
financial state of being at the edge of bankruptcy ... hehe... ;-)
Reli can't believe it! We have so much to talk about!
These days I started to anticipate the feeling out of place when I'm back home. Don't wanna go back at all 'cause I'm so used to be here.
It's all about the absence--
we both are somewhat absent from each other's lives for a certain period, and so many stuff that happen during that period can change one's habits, personalities, values etc. There has to be so many struggles and stages that you have to go thru before you get to where you are right now. And there's so much that only those who have been away can tell or identify with. Refusing to go back is another issue.
It's hard. It's reli hard
to get back to the normal life again. I mean, who wants to live in the same way after experiencing another way of life? It doesn't necessarily mean the new way of life is better all the time. It does have its downside. But it's like now you're a step further than you were and it's cruel to tell yourself to step back and return to the old world, living the old way of life! Things aren't just the same anymore. If you're a different person now, it seems that there's no way that you can fit in the old way of life.
Mmm... but on the other hand, I also think if you're a better person now, the capacity and capability that you have should enable you to deal with all these problems.
.......
............
..................
Well, I'll never know... until the time to move on has come...
So I found it was such a relief to talk all about these w/ Rosi today. Plus we both are defering our year of graduation~~~ (which is another great, great relief!!!! ;-) )
Haha... seems that both of us hav become SO restless! Restless!! Or addicted to traveling!!!When you think of our graceful ambition of going to another continent!!! After all, it's only an ocean across!!!! We are not that far!!! hehe...
*Rosi--my girl friend who is now in ... in a place where you can find Santa!!! Wow~~~
I chatted with Rosi* for nearly 4 hours from afternoon till evening on MSN!!!
An exceptionally funny German friend,
cooking in residence,
contact with family and friends,
noble traveling plans,
hilarious traveling adventures,
financial state of being at the edge of bankruptcy ... hehe... ;-)
Reli can't believe it! We have so much to talk about!
These days I started to anticipate the feeling out of place when I'm back home. Don't wanna go back at all 'cause I'm so used to be here.
It's all about the absence--
we both are somewhat absent from each other's lives for a certain period, and so many stuff that happen during that period can change one's habits, personalities, values etc. There has to be so many struggles and stages that you have to go thru before you get to where you are right now. And there's so much that only those who have been away can tell or identify with. Refusing to go back is another issue.
It's hard. It's reli hard
to get back to the normal life again. I mean, who wants to live in the same way after experiencing another way of life? It doesn't necessarily mean the new way of life is better all the time. It does have its downside. But it's like now you're a step further than you were and it's cruel to tell yourself to step back and return to the old world, living the old way of life! Things aren't just the same anymore. If you're a different person now, it seems that there's no way that you can fit in the old way of life.
Mmm... but on the other hand, I also think if you're a better person now, the capacity and capability that you have should enable you to deal with all these problems.
.......
............
..................
Well, I'll never know... until the time to move on has come...
So I found it was such a relief to talk all about these w/ Rosi today. Plus we both are defering our year of graduation~~~ (which is another great, great relief!!!! ;-) )
Haha... seems that both of us hav become SO restless! Restless!! Or addicted to traveling!!!When you think of our graceful ambition of going to another continent!!! After all, it's only an ocean across!!!! We are not that far!!! hehe...
*Rosi--my girl friend who is now in ... in a place where you can find Santa!!! Wow~~~
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
What can I do with an English degree?
"What can I do with an English degree? "
That's the question I frequently ask. I don't mean to devalue anybody who has a strong interest in the English literature, nor anyone who has an English degree, master degree, or Ph. D whatever! I've never been proud to be an English major, unlike most of my classmates. I would very much like to immerse myself in the passionate Shakespearean plays, appreciate the music of those beautiful poems, and embrace the richness of the English language. YET I've never found it's such a big deal to be an English major! Never! English has been so much part of myself -- that for so long--I've taken it for granted!
Not until today did I start to appreciate where an English degree would take me. Whether people recognize it immediately or not, students with a BA in English have spent at least 3 years training in the skills of critical reading, language and discourse analysis, logical thought, the persuasive writing of argument, and documentation. What fascinated me most was -- you know how to listen, you know how to speak, you know how to write, you know how to communicate! Yea you may not know everything, BUT what you don't know is always on the internet! Internet! Internet! (Haha...that's what the speaker emphasized...) And what matters most is NOT whether you know it or not. Indeed, it's a matter of how FAST you have access to it.
Amazing! I'm totally convinced by the speakers this afternoon, for only those who have such skills at base excel in careers! Amazing! It totally changed how I see graduating with an English degree and assured me with reasons to believe "There IS point to be an English major!" which is sth I've been asking since last year.
Admittedly, I wasn't happy to be an English major. I was SO SO upset to know that I ended up getting into the English dept @ CUHK last year... Well, it's nothing shameful I know. But it's just that I've been asking "What's the point?" Or if not, I would grumble that "There's no point in studying this and that!"
Not many people knew that, though. Not even my friends, or family. I still remember all those congratulations from some of them when they got to know my admission. They probably thought it was good.
Ironic, eh?
But today's talk did inspire me. I came to realize and acknowledge that it is the imagination, critical thought, and the capability to communicate effectively which is the essence of tertiary training in literature and language.
***
"Dare to dream, be honest to what inspires you, and try to put whatever talents and skills, or anything you have into it."
That's the question I frequently ask. I don't mean to devalue anybody who has a strong interest in the English literature, nor anyone who has an English degree, master degree, or Ph. D whatever! I've never been proud to be an English major, unlike most of my classmates. I would very much like to immerse myself in the passionate Shakespearean plays, appreciate the music of those beautiful poems, and embrace the richness of the English language. YET I've never found it's such a big deal to be an English major! Never! English has been so much part of myself -- that for so long--I've taken it for granted!
Not until today did I start to appreciate where an English degree would take me. Whether people recognize it immediately or not, students with a BA in English have spent at least 3 years training in the skills of critical reading, language and discourse analysis, logical thought, the persuasive writing of argument, and documentation. What fascinated me most was -- you know how to listen, you know how to speak, you know how to write, you know how to communicate! Yea you may not know everything, BUT what you don't know is always on the internet! Internet! Internet! (Haha...that's what the speaker emphasized...) And what matters most is NOT whether you know it or not. Indeed, it's a matter of how FAST you have access to it.
Amazing! I'm totally convinced by the speakers this afternoon, for only those who have such skills at base excel in careers! Amazing! It totally changed how I see graduating with an English degree and assured me with reasons to believe "There IS point to be an English major!" which is sth I've been asking since last year.
Admittedly, I wasn't happy to be an English major. I was SO SO upset to know that I ended up getting into the English dept @ CUHK last year... Well, it's nothing shameful I know. But it's just that I've been asking "What's the point?" Or if not, I would grumble that "There's no point in studying this and that!"
Not many people knew that, though. Not even my friends, or family. I still remember all those congratulations from some of them when they got to know my admission. They probably thought it was good.
Ironic, eh?
But today's talk did inspire me. I came to realize and acknowledge that it is the imagination, critical thought, and the capability to communicate effectively which is the essence of tertiary training in literature and language.
***
"Dare to dream, be honest to what inspires you, and try to put whatever talents and skills, or anything you have into it."
Monday, January 24, 2005
What i'm thinking?
What I'm thinking these days is ... dunno! A lot of thoughts have flashed across my mind from time to time.
I can't believe my mom started to ask when i was going back. It's only the beginning of winter term!!! Feel so weird whenever she calls. We don't have much to talk about. Not much at all! You can imagine how it feels like when a question is asked for 3 times during our 5 minute conversation ...
***
Stuck whilst I was figuring out the plans for reading week and the coming summer.
I'm indeed restless. Don't wanna go back that early...
Seattle? Vancouver? Victoria? or should I make a trip to visit Ali in the UK?
Okay Carlotta be more down-to-earth-- figure out the plan for reading week first!
Yea I'll go visit Christina for sure, but should I make an effort to visit Dipti in Houston as well?
....
I wish I were a millionaire!!!!
Or if not, a mistress of a millionaire... Haha~~~
I can't believe my mom started to ask when i was going back. It's only the beginning of winter term!!! Feel so weird whenever she calls. We don't have much to talk about. Not much at all! You can imagine how it feels like when a question is asked for 3 times during our 5 minute conversation ...
***
Stuck whilst I was figuring out the plans for reading week and the coming summer.
I'm indeed restless. Don't wanna go back that early...
Seattle? Vancouver? Victoria? or should I make a trip to visit Ali in the UK?
Okay Carlotta be more down-to-earth-- figure out the plan for reading week first!
Yea I'll go visit Christina for sure, but should I make an effort to visit Dipti in Houston as well?
....
I wish I were a millionaire!!!!
Or if not, a mistress of a millionaire... Haha~~~
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Snowy Sunday in downtown
I was supposed to go to an exhibition of an Italian artist with Melike today. But after much "exercise" yesterday, I felt sore throughout my whole body, esp. my arms! Plus I would like to do some grocery. So ... I'm sorry! We didn't actually meet up after the winter break... I hope we can do it some time later, though.
So what I did this afternoon was going downtown with Kat. Haha... but life is full of twists and turns!!!
When we got out from the subway station, hoping to drop by Eaton Center, we found that downtown Toronto suffered from power outrage and Eaton Center was closed!
WHAT? CLOSED? DO THEY KNOW HOW MUCH $$ THEY GONNA LOSE DUE TO A DAY'S CLOSURE?
Feeling both upset and somewhat irritated, we went outside the street.
*.* >.< +.+ ...
It was freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing!!! The moment you stepped outside, the damn coldness started to penetrate into every parts of the body, from toes all the way to fingertips.
POWER OUTRAGE?! Ha-Ha-Ha-what a joke. Ridiculous. Non-sense. If it is a joke, it's a pathetic unlaughable joke.
Our grocery shopping turned out to be a window shopping. We eventually wandered around West of Queen. Shops there are really awesome. A good place for shopping! :-)
At night we had dinner @ Chinatown. It was damn cold and all we wanted was a place where we could have some real fried and hot stuff. When it was the time that we had to decide, we stopped outside a restaurant and hesitated if it was the one we went previously.
"You're sure this is the one we came last time?"
"Hum... yea, it should be."
Still hesitating...
"係 啊 ,我認得 你地!"
Our eyes widely opened. She recognizes us?!
We sat down and were given the menu.
"要 什麼, 靚妹?"
靚妹?! Haha--we laughed. Haven't been called like this for so long !
Our meals was decent, enjoyable, and filling... hehe...
Walking out from the restaurant, we were greeted good evening by the lady.
"得閒再"泥" la, 靚女!"
Haha...another laughter--have been so used to be called "lady" by other ladies whenever entering stores. Being called "靚女" "靚妹" again feels so weird and GOOD too! After all, I'm still 20! Still qualified to be called "靚妹"~~~
So what I did this afternoon was going downtown with Kat. Haha... but life is full of twists and turns!!!
When we got out from the subway station, hoping to drop by Eaton Center, we found that downtown Toronto suffered from power outrage and Eaton Center was closed!
WHAT? CLOSED? DO THEY KNOW HOW MUCH $$ THEY GONNA LOSE DUE TO A DAY'S CLOSURE?
Feeling both upset and somewhat irritated, we went outside the street.
*.* >.< +.+ ...
It was freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing!!! The moment you stepped outside, the damn coldness started to penetrate into every parts of the body, from toes all the way to fingertips.
POWER OUTRAGE?! Ha-Ha-Ha-what a joke. Ridiculous. Non-sense. If it is a joke, it's a pathetic unlaughable joke.
Our grocery shopping turned out to be a window shopping. We eventually wandered around West of Queen. Shops there are really awesome. A good place for shopping! :-)
At night we had dinner @ Chinatown. It was damn cold and all we wanted was a place where we could have some real fried and hot stuff. When it was the time that we had to decide, we stopped outside a restaurant and hesitated if it was the one we went previously.
"You're sure this is the one we came last time?"
"Hum... yea, it should be."
Still hesitating...
"係 啊 ,我認得 你地!"
Our eyes widely opened. She recognizes us?!
We sat down and were given the menu.
"要 什麼, 靚妹?"
靚妹?! Haha--we laughed. Haven't been called like this for so long !
Our meals was decent, enjoyable, and filling... hehe...
Walking out from the restaurant, we were greeted good evening by the lady.
"得閒再"泥" la, 靚女!"
Haha...another laughter--have been so used to be called "lady" by other ladies whenever entering stores. Being called "靚女" "靚妹" again feels so weird and GOOD too! After all, I'm still 20! Still qualified to be called "靚妹"~~~
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Warm up the winter!!!
Cross-country skiing @ Midland today!!!
It was so much fun!
Nice weather--
reasonable amount of snow
mild wind
and fansinating snow view at countryside...
A nice and playful friend...
Hospitable treat from Dave and his friends...
Perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect!
Though having certain iceskating experience, I have to admit that skiing is a brand-new experience for me. We encountered 3 mild "hills" along our way, and 3 times I fell! I had a hard time keeping my body balance!
1st time--"It's okay to fall. It's my 1st time after all."
2nd time--"Go ahead. I'll be the next!"
3rd time--"Hum... "
"Go ahead Carlotta"
And so I bent my knees a bit and slid foward, hoping it would be a better shot this time.
"Oh there you go. Keep going. You got it!" I thought.
But then knees started to lose the sense of orientation, body waver unconsciously, and eventually...
"Oops...I did it again!"
I fell.
Then came a laughter of myself. Hehe...
I got up and moved on. ;)
'cause...
I AM NEVER A LOSER!!! HAHAHA~~~
And guess what? I have far too much energy to let the icy snow cool me down!!!
Kat and me enjoying the snow
It was so much fun!
Nice weather--
reasonable amount of snow
mild wind
and fansinating snow view at countryside...
A nice and playful friend...
Hospitable treat from Dave and his friends...
Perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect!
Though having certain iceskating experience, I have to admit that skiing is a brand-new experience for me. We encountered 3 mild "hills" along our way, and 3 times I fell! I had a hard time keeping my body balance!
1st time--"It's okay to fall. It's my 1st time after all."
2nd time--"Go ahead. I'll be the next!"
3rd time--"Hum... "
"Go ahead Carlotta"
And so I bent my knees a bit and slid foward, hoping it would be a better shot this time.
"Oh there you go. Keep going. You got it!" I thought.
But then knees started to lose the sense of orientation, body waver unconsciously, and eventually...
"Oops...I did it again!"
I fell.
Then came a laughter of myself. Hehe...
I got up and moved on. ;)
'cause...
I AM NEVER A LOSER!!! HAHAHA~~~
And guess what? I have far too much energy to let the icy snow cool me down!!!
Kat and me enjoying the snow
It was a really nice day. It was a beautifully crisp, snowy and breathtakingly clear winter days when your breath comes out like plumes of smoke. We rode for an hour on highway to Orillia, where Leonna(Dave's friend) lives, before heading to Midland. Snowshoeing through marshes strewn with ice and wounding our way through leafless trees, I encountered the stillness of Canada's wilderness. Winter takes away hurry out of a place. There're no crowds, no rush, no noise. Speaking breaks the silence. The surrounding silence is so loud it is audible. Its very nature slows things down; its blanket of snow subdues momentum, seduces urgency. There's space. And our occasional laughter filled the air with vibrancy.
I took pictures, knowing that none would capture this moment, or tingling feeling.
Winter in Canada is not just serene, it's amazingly welcoming and gorgeous.
It's hard to resist not falling in love with it.
stillness2
I took pictures, knowing that none would capture this moment, or tingling feeling.
Winter in Canada is not just serene, it's amazingly welcoming and gorgeous.
It's hard to resist not falling in love with it.
stillness2
Friday, January 21, 2005
American History X
American History X* is one of the most disturbing films I've seen so far.
The film is in no way a comprehensive look at racism, hatred, or inner city violence. Instead, it examines the various ways these elements tear at the fabric of a family. The film emphasizes that actions have consequences, and that attaining redemption isn't as easy as saying "I'm sorry." The price for a change of heart can be, and often is, brutal. The final sequence in the film is shocking not because it's unexpected, but because it illustrates this truth. Yea, the brutal truth of consequences brought on your own shoulders for what you've said and done. The ending of the film makes both Danny and Derek more sympathetic, if not forgivable. It also suggests that the psychological trauma resulting from being socially rejected and insulted hurt much. Sometimes seems to be unredeemable, unrestorable.
But the change of Derek does give us insight that racist ideas can be learned, just as he learned from his father, and unlearned. I remember his powerful speech about thousands of "parasites stream across the border like some fuckin' pinata exploded" every night. What a charismatic leader he is! He gives a terrific speech, "inspiring" his followers to save their country which "loses the right to pursue its destiny." "One in every three black males is in some phase of the correctional system. Is that a coincidence or do these people have, you know, like a racial commitment to crime?" Racism, in many ways, helps justify his rage and hatred.
But as we see in the scene where he is asked by his old high school principal after being raped and humiliated by his fellows in the jail:
"I used to be mad too. Mad at everyone. Mad at society, white people, God. I had all the wrong answers but I wasn't asking the right questions. You need to ask the right questions, Derek."
"Like what?"
"Has anything you've done made your life better?"
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0780625633/ref=ase_internetmoviedat/102-2163446-6921701?v=glance&s=video#product-details
Danny: "Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time."
The film is in no way a comprehensive look at racism, hatred, or inner city violence. Instead, it examines the various ways these elements tear at the fabric of a family. The film emphasizes that actions have consequences, and that attaining redemption isn't as easy as saying "I'm sorry." The price for a change of heart can be, and often is, brutal. The final sequence in the film is shocking not because it's unexpected, but because it illustrates this truth. Yea, the brutal truth of consequences brought on your own shoulders for what you've said and done. The ending of the film makes both Danny and Derek more sympathetic, if not forgivable. It also suggests that the psychological trauma resulting from being socially rejected and insulted hurt much. Sometimes seems to be unredeemable, unrestorable.
But the change of Derek does give us insight that racist ideas can be learned, just as he learned from his father, and unlearned. I remember his powerful speech about thousands of "parasites stream across the border like some fuckin' pinata exploded" every night. What a charismatic leader he is! He gives a terrific speech, "inspiring" his followers to save their country which "loses the right to pursue its destiny." "One in every three black males is in some phase of the correctional system. Is that a coincidence or do these people have, you know, like a racial commitment to crime?" Racism, in many ways, helps justify his rage and hatred.
But as we see in the scene where he is asked by his old high school principal after being raped and humiliated by his fellows in the jail:
"I used to be mad too. Mad at everyone. Mad at society, white people, God. I had all the wrong answers but I wasn't asking the right questions. You need to ask the right questions, Derek."
"Like what?"
"Has anything you've done made your life better?"
His slow headshake shows his inability to make sense of the fact that he befriends a black man. It breaks down his old perception and he comes to realize how much he has been consumed by his unreasonable racist ideas.
Yea, hate is baggage. Who would like to carry on with a baggage of rage and hatred which quietly eats him up?
*For plot summary, go to:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0780625633/ref=ase_internetmoviedat/102-2163446-6921701?v=glance&s=video#product-details
Danny: "Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time."
Danny: "I'm sorry, Derek. I'm sorry that happened to you."
Derek: "I'm not. I'm lucky. I feel lucky because it's wrong, Danny. It's wrong and it was eating me up, it was going to kill me. And I kept asking myself all the time, how did I buy into this shit? It was because I was pissed off, and nothing I ever did ever took that feeling away. I killed two guys, Danny, I killed them. And it didn't make me feel any different. It just got me more lost and I'm tired of being pissed off, Danny. I'm just tired of it. "
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Having had lunch and replied to Christina's email, I had a nap...
had a nightmare... :-(
I heard all genres of music mixed together... it's just like hearing segments of different music records without acknowledging what it is all about! it sounds weird!
At the same time I felt a deep sense of regret and people feeling desperate (Why I could feel how others' feel? Well, isn't it common that we all seem to have certain empathy in our dreams, like being able to read somebody's mind, or if not, feel how s/he feels ?) ...
I tried to pull it off to open my eyes, and yet I couldn't!
I think I eventually got out of it when I forced to open my eyes with greatest effort...
.........
French test passed...
Paper proposal due tomorrow... looks like I have to glue to my laptop tonight...
So I went out to grap a cup of coffee.
Students, coffee, studying, writing papers. They're inextricably linked. Let's face it, it's pretty hard to write a 2000 sth-word essay without caffeine.
BUT I dare not go to Tim Hortons for any more coffee. *sign* Coffee at Tim Hortons is ... 一次不如一次!
SO I decided to boycott it (at least for a short period of time)!
had a nightmare... :-(
I heard all genres of music mixed together... it's just like hearing segments of different music records without acknowledging what it is all about! it sounds weird!
At the same time I felt a deep sense of regret and people feeling desperate (Why I could feel how others' feel? Well, isn't it common that we all seem to have certain empathy in our dreams, like being able to read somebody's mind, or if not, feel how s/he feels ?) ...
I tried to pull it off to open my eyes, and yet I couldn't!
I think I eventually got out of it when I forced to open my eyes with greatest effort...
.........
French test passed...
Paper proposal due tomorrow... looks like I have to glue to my laptop tonight...
So I went out to grap a cup of coffee.
Students, coffee, studying, writing papers. They're inextricably linked. Let's face it, it's pretty hard to write a 2000 sth-word essay without caffeine.
BUT I dare not go to Tim Hortons for any more coffee. *sign* Coffee at Tim Hortons is ... 一次不如一次!
SO I decided to boycott it (at least for a short period of time)!
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Don't cut off the string
"However desperate,
I urge you not to cut off the string...
For I will never let go."
I urge you not to cut off the string...
For I will never let go."
Saturday, January 15, 2005
This weekend
Just back from movie and dinner.
The film "Aviator" is okay. Plot's fine but I like the cinematography better. If you're looking for any elements of romance because of Leonardo Dicarprio in this film, you probably pick up a wrong one. There's no real female star in this film and even if you argue it does, i think they are nowhere to be seen at all!
Dunno if it's adapted from a novel or real-life story, but there're certain points in the film where I think could have another storyline. I like the ideas of anxiety and quarantine in the film. Such elements could have been more elaborate.
I prefer "Meet the Fockers" though...
Thx Jane for bringing me to a real good Chinese restaurant.
炒通菜 (with Garlic)
蝦 仁豆腐 飯
豆漿
Pancake Roll with sliced beef
I miss all these food! I'm already fed up with the food here on campus. They are all uneatable and having to choose from them makes me lose appetite. I can only stand the food @ underground and the Spot. Or if I wanna grasp a cup of coffee or hot chocolate I'd simply go to the cafeteria...but Tim Hortons is not highly recommended... (I would go there only when I had no choice!)
Anyways, excellent food and a nice chat with friend... what else can I ask for?
***
It does't work out--
bad timing,
much higher price,
inconvenient location,
incompatibilty with my schedule...
and most importantly--I'd miss my friends here on this floor.
Have to give up the idea of moving to downtown! Disappointing!!!
I know--people keep telling me it isn't a good time to make such a change... but see--I'm always a little restless... haha... that's part of my personality!!! Otherwise I wouldn't have been here!!! ;-)
***
Thx Sachie for sharing those pictures! They're awesome! I look forward to meeting you guys up some time next,next week!!!
***
Thx Melike for calling! I'm SO glad to have you back! SO glad!
***
Another busy week 's beginning... *signs*
The film "Aviator" is okay. Plot's fine but I like the cinematography better. If you're looking for any elements of romance because of Leonardo Dicarprio in this film, you probably pick up a wrong one. There's no real female star in this film and even if you argue it does, i think they are nowhere to be seen at all!
Dunno if it's adapted from a novel or real-life story, but there're certain points in the film where I think could have another storyline. I like the ideas of anxiety and quarantine in the film. Such elements could have been more elaborate.
I prefer "Meet the Fockers" though...
Thx Jane for bringing me to a real good Chinese restaurant.
炒通菜 (with Garlic)
蝦 仁豆腐 飯
豆漿
Pancake Roll with sliced beef
I miss all these food! I'm already fed up with the food here on campus. They are all uneatable and having to choose from them makes me lose appetite. I can only stand the food @ underground and the Spot. Or if I wanna grasp a cup of coffee or hot chocolate I'd simply go to the cafeteria...but Tim Hortons is not highly recommended... (I would go there only when I had no choice!)
Anyways, excellent food and a nice chat with friend... what else can I ask for?
***
It does't work out--
bad timing,
much higher price,
inconvenient location,
incompatibilty with my schedule...
and most importantly--I'd miss my friends here on this floor.
Have to give up the idea of moving to downtown! Disappointing!!!
I know--people keep telling me it isn't a good time to make such a change... but see--I'm always a little restless... haha... that's part of my personality!!! Otherwise I wouldn't have been here!!! ;-)
***
Thx Sachie for sharing those pictures! They're awesome! I look forward to meeting you guys up some time next,next week!!!
***
Thx Melike for calling! I'm SO glad to have you back! SO glad!
***
Another busy week 's beginning... *signs*
Friday, January 14, 2005
When friends meet friends
Have been thinking about her for long...
I eventually couldn't resist Christina any longer!
I gave her a call this afternoon!!!
Hehe... one never runs out of topics when talking to an old friend!
Christina is exactly that type of friend--we have SO much to talk about! The conversation this afternoon never runs dry.
Her staying in house and doing the chores...
Going grocery with family at weekend...
Cooking Columbian food...
Having bought a real awful Chinese sauce in Walmart (she asked for my advice~~)...
Being a (smart) housewife and raise children...
My life in Toronto...
My winter break at NY and Boston...
English accent of Southerners...
Her progress in learning Spanish and once saying sth offensive to others...
Men (attention--not boys!)...
Loneliness and struggles we both felt throughout these years...
and of course --- her Columbian husband( I can see it's really hard for her not to talk about him all the time)!
I guess we will just keep talking when we see each other! ;-) We both have so much to tell each other! She has lost touch with a lot of her friends since she got married. Not that she doesn't wanna meet her friends, but that people thinksince she's married, she's busy. I felt much encouraged when she said my effort in writing her has made her to feel I didn't give her up! Now she feels she's one of my closest friends.
Not giving her up... I actually didn't realize what i did mean that much to her! But I guess it's 'cause of the love I once felt from others when I thought "This is just not the way it is . Or that doesn't work out! I just give it up!" Those little words gave me the reason to believe--that my presence matters to them. Their little act turned to be BIG in restoring my faith to believe that.
"The demons love darkness and hiddenness. Inner fears and struggles which remain isolated develop great power over us. But when we talk about them in a spirit of trust, then they can be looked at and dealt with. Once brought into the light of mutual love, demons lose their power and quickly leave us."
This is why I think men need human fellowship, besides fellowship with a greater divine God.
***
P.S. We both found our voices surprised each other. She doesn't have a strong accent, as I thought most Southerners do, while she thinks I'm just like a foreigner who seems to have spent long time in the north like NY (speaking pretty fast, clear)! Interesting...
I eventually couldn't resist Christina any longer!
I gave her a call this afternoon!!!
Hehe... one never runs out of topics when talking to an old friend!
Christina is exactly that type of friend--we have SO much to talk about! The conversation this afternoon never runs dry.
Her staying in house and doing the chores...
Going grocery with family at weekend...
Cooking Columbian food...
Having bought a real awful Chinese sauce in Walmart (she asked for my advice~~)...
Being a (smart) housewife and raise children...
My life in Toronto...
My winter break at NY and Boston...
English accent of Southerners...
Her progress in learning Spanish and once saying sth offensive to others...
Men (attention--not boys!)...
Loneliness and struggles we both felt throughout these years...
and of course --- her Columbian husband( I can see it's really hard for her not to talk about him all the time)!
I guess we will just keep talking when we see each other! ;-) We both have so much to tell each other! She has lost touch with a lot of her friends since she got married. Not that she doesn't wanna meet her friends, but that people thinksince she's married, she's busy. I felt much encouraged when she said my effort in writing her has made her to feel I didn't give her up! Now she feels she's one of my closest friends.
Not giving her up... I actually didn't realize what i did mean that much to her! But I guess it's 'cause of the love I once felt from others when I thought "This is just not the way it is . Or that doesn't work out! I just give it up!" Those little words gave me the reason to believe--that my presence matters to them. Their little act turned to be BIG in restoring my faith to believe that.
"The demons love darkness and hiddenness. Inner fears and struggles which remain isolated develop great power over us. But when we talk about them in a spirit of trust, then they can be looked at and dealt with. Once brought into the light of mutual love, demons lose their power and quickly leave us."
This is why I think men need human fellowship, besides fellowship with a greater divine God.
***
P.S. We both found our voices surprised each other. She doesn't have a strong accent, as I thought most Southerners do, while she thinks I'm just like a foreigner who seems to have spent long time in the north like NY (speaking pretty fast, clear)! Interesting...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Give me a break!
exhausted... I can't believe my winter term kicked off with an endless list of things to settle or finish. It's NOT just about school. Many seemingly trivial or exciting stuff can take you up far more time than you can imagine.
A lot of crazy ideas keep pouring into my mind these days. God knows where I get these ideas from. But I think I always take them seriously--I actually get down to do some research or go to the place and try to work out the possible way to accomplish them, which may help explain why I spend so much time doing sth irrelevant to my school, or my life in general! Haha... an excuse for procrastinating!!!
Talked to my friend Ali for a while today. I felt sorry when I got to know she was diagnosed with Reactive Depression. Her last email dated back to September. I knew she was having some problems in dealing with the initial adjustment as she started first year then. Didn't realize the problems could eat her up that much! Moving to Stirling from her hometown and being away from her best friend and family must have been a drastic change to her.
But I'm glad that she told ME(!) 'cause she didn't tell everybody. She's now taking medication and will have to continue till next year. We can identify with our feelings pretty well as we talked this afternoon. And I think I understand her taking medication now...
why?
'cause I took medication last year--the only different thing is--mine was a combination of western and chinese medicine! >.<
***
Almost forget ...
Jack--You have a great, great mind! Gear up for the new term!!! Okay?
Ching-ching--I don't know if you're checking this out regularly. I sent you email last week. But it came back. It doesn't work out! We hardly know how we have been up to!!!
***
My desire to read others' diary grows these days. I started to check out the stories of Christine, Yaya, Clement, Doris etc more often. Interesting! I never read others' online journals before. Never! I thought those stories would have nothing to do with me and therefore would not be of my interest. But as I read on, I actually found myself to have a place in their stories. Maybe not an entire chapter, but there're always a few lines reminding me about US in a particular place at a particular time. Or I would find familiar stories that I could easily identify, or if not, there's always plenty to laugh at~~~
I think I started to miss my life @ CUHK campus...
A lot of crazy ideas keep pouring into my mind these days. God knows where I get these ideas from. But I think I always take them seriously--I actually get down to do some research or go to the place and try to work out the possible way to accomplish them, which may help explain why I spend so much time doing sth irrelevant to my school, or my life in general! Haha... an excuse for procrastinating!!!
Talked to my friend Ali for a while today. I felt sorry when I got to know she was diagnosed with Reactive Depression. Her last email dated back to September. I knew she was having some problems in dealing with the initial adjustment as she started first year then. Didn't realize the problems could eat her up that much! Moving to Stirling from her hometown and being away from her best friend and family must have been a drastic change to her.
But I'm glad that she told ME(!) 'cause she didn't tell everybody. She's now taking medication and will have to continue till next year. We can identify with our feelings pretty well as we talked this afternoon. And I think I understand her taking medication now...
why?
'cause I took medication last year--the only different thing is--mine was a combination of western and chinese medicine! >.<
***
Almost forget ...
Jack--You have a great, great mind! Gear up for the new term!!! Okay?
Ching-ching--I don't know if you're checking this out regularly. I sent you email last week. But it came back. It doesn't work out! We hardly know how we have been up to!!!
***
My desire to read others' diary grows these days. I started to check out the stories of Christine, Yaya, Clement, Doris etc more often. Interesting! I never read others' online journals before. Never! I thought those stories would have nothing to do with me and therefore would not be of my interest. But as I read on, I actually found myself to have a place in their stories. Maybe not an entire chapter, but there're always a few lines reminding me about US in a particular place at a particular time. Or I would find familiar stories that I could easily identify, or if not, there's always plenty to laugh at~~~
I think I started to miss my life @ CUHK campus...
Sunday, January 09, 2005
I was glad to talk to Tran again last night. It feels good to be able to get in touch with those exchange friends even after they go back. So he's already graduated ... Looking for a job in law firm or gov't ... he's okay I guess.
I was in Boston for a few days during winter break. It sucks--that I didn't know he's from Boston until last night. MY GOODNESS!! We were actually in this small city last year without having a chance to meet up!!! Pathetic I know...
***
Chanced to read a diary of a first year. We talked a bit last term. I found so much resonance in reading his diary. I could easily identify with all those ambiguous feelings of loneliness, confusion, and of course excitement in my first year.
As a freshman, Carlotta is ambitious, self-confident, outgoing and always an active member--no matter during class, in her department, or student organizations in school. Despite her packed schedule, she's still doing well academically, while having much fun outside classroom. But who knows what lies beneath the skin of this little girl is nothing but an immense fear of being just a person in the crowds! The more she wants to grasp the control of the situation, the more vulnerable she feels. Walking back to New Asia after class everyday seems to be so much pain to her. She doesn't really want to be back to her room--her familiar room. Unlike her fellows, aloneness is no stranger to her. Indeed, for a long time, she has been a good friend of aloneness. She enjoys being alone?! Yes and no. Ask her. But chances are that she won't be able to answer you. Ask her. But "I know not" will always be the answer. College life, to her, seems to be more like a journey in a desert. She sometimes finds herself lost. You can't blame her for locking herself out. People come. And people go. Who cares? You are nobody in the crowds!
Of course I met some really good friends in my first year. Sonia, Long, Jack, and all my Aqua gals---they are the greatest gifts God's perfect grace can ever give. I enjoy their company. So my first year was rather bitter sweet.
But...
isn't life itself a stirfry of bitterness and sweetness?
If life is a dish, grap your own one, prepare your stomach, sit back, taste and enjoy it!
Of course it never hurt to have a few dearest ones to share this piece of dish! ;-)
Thank you Clement. You bring up all those old, precipitated feelings from the bottom of my heart. Reflecting on them gives me some insights--the little secret--which helps me to move on. :-)
***
It moved me when we started to pray for those victims affected by the recent earthquakes and tsunami in South Asia. I actually didn't realize the seriousness until I got to know the news on TV. So many loss of lives, homes, and loved ones. Perhaps many would ask about the problem of suffering--a never fully answered question. The incident is far beyond our comprehension and understanding. It's gonna help nothing unless we make intercession for those who are suffering and offer them a hand of hope and love.
I read the articles about the news. I looked at the time when the incident happened. It was on my birthday--Dec 26, on which day I was leaving NYC for Washington. It started to snow when we left. So fortunate that I am to be able to see the little snowflakes falling when many other kids out there don't even have the chance to see sunrise of another morning.
Let me close today with a prayer:
I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
(Ps 18:1-6, 30-31)
I was in Boston for a few days during winter break. It sucks--that I didn't know he's from Boston until last night. MY GOODNESS!! We were actually in this small city last year without having a chance to meet up!!! Pathetic I know...
***
Chanced to read a diary of a first year. We talked a bit last term. I found so much resonance in reading his diary. I could easily identify with all those ambiguous feelings of loneliness, confusion, and of course excitement in my first year.
As a freshman, Carlotta is ambitious, self-confident, outgoing and always an active member--no matter during class, in her department, or student organizations in school. Despite her packed schedule, she's still doing well academically, while having much fun outside classroom. But who knows what lies beneath the skin of this little girl is nothing but an immense fear of being just a person in the crowds! The more she wants to grasp the control of the situation, the more vulnerable she feels. Walking back to New Asia after class everyday seems to be so much pain to her. She doesn't really want to be back to her room--her familiar room. Unlike her fellows, aloneness is no stranger to her. Indeed, for a long time, she has been a good friend of aloneness. She enjoys being alone?! Yes and no. Ask her. But chances are that she won't be able to answer you. Ask her. But "I know not" will always be the answer. College life, to her, seems to be more like a journey in a desert. She sometimes finds herself lost. You can't blame her for locking herself out. People come. And people go. Who cares? You are nobody in the crowds!
Of course I met some really good friends in my first year. Sonia, Long, Jack, and all my Aqua gals---they are the greatest gifts God's perfect grace can ever give. I enjoy their company. So my first year was rather bitter sweet.
But...
isn't life itself a stirfry of bitterness and sweetness?
If life is a dish, grap your own one, prepare your stomach, sit back, taste and enjoy it!
Of course it never hurt to have a few dearest ones to share this piece of dish! ;-)
Thank you Clement. You bring up all those old, precipitated feelings from the bottom of my heart. Reflecting on them gives me some insights--the little secret--which helps me to move on. :-)
***
It moved me when we started to pray for those victims affected by the recent earthquakes and tsunami in South Asia. I actually didn't realize the seriousness until I got to know the news on TV. So many loss of lives, homes, and loved ones. Perhaps many would ask about the problem of suffering--a never fully answered question. The incident is far beyond our comprehension and understanding. It's gonna help nothing unless we make intercession for those who are suffering and offer them a hand of hope and love.
I read the articles about the news. I looked at the time when the incident happened. It was on my birthday--Dec 26, on which day I was leaving NYC for Washington. It started to snow when we left. So fortunate that I am to be able to see the little snowflakes falling when many other kids out there don't even have the chance to see sunrise of another morning.
Let me close today with a prayer:
I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
(Ps 18:1-6, 30-31)
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Pictures uploaded already
I always wanted to talk about the trip in great, great details. I enjoyed the trip a LOT! So much to see! So much to tell! As it's hard to talk about everything here, I'll leave them for the later days when I'm back. But I've got the pictures uploaded, this time together with the captions. Enjoy!
http://community.webshots.com/user/carlotta_at_ca
***
Was invited to write two articles about my exchange experience for a christian newsletter and university marketplace. But I have to get them done by next week... lol...
***
A week flew away. Everything seems to be back to normal.
But coming back greeted with cheerful smiles, warm hugs, belated birthday cards, and unexpected present only makes me feel never better. I think I started to like here...
http://community.webshots.com/user/carlotta_at_ca
***
Was invited to write two articles about my exchange experience for a christian newsletter and university marketplace. But I have to get them done by next week... lol...
***
A week flew away. Everything seems to be back to normal.
But coming back greeted with cheerful smiles, warm hugs, belated birthday cards, and unexpected present only makes me feel never better. I think I started to like here...
Friday, January 07, 2005
Just a little thought from devotion
I'm always fasinated by the wisdom of Solomon. I like the proverbs, psalms, and books he wrote. Today I read his asking God for wisdom in 1 Kings:
'The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for-both riches and honor-so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. "'
Solomon asks for wisdom. It pleases God. So what he is given eventually is not only wisdom, but also everything! Things that he has not even asked for! To pray and ask for what He pleases brings much blessing...
Solomon's asking for wisdom. What am I asking for my life? What are you asking for in the new year?
...
'The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for-both riches and honor-so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. "'
Solomon asks for wisdom. It pleases God. So what he is given eventually is not only wisdom, but also everything! Things that he has not even asked for! To pray and ask for what He pleases brings much blessing...
Solomon's asking for wisdom. What am I asking for my life? What are you asking for in the new year?
...
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
A new school term
It's pretty weird starting my new school term. I always think if I had a choice, I would rather spend the rest of this year traveling. I don't like school! :-(
I don't think I'm ready for the new school year either! Somehow I feel weird meeting people ... I'm just not ready!
***
Thanks Sachie & Mayumi-- I enjoyed traveling with you gals! You both are good traveling partners. I know there're so many flaws in my persnality that you had to put up with along the journey. And thanks so much for being there for my birthday!
Thanks Inna-- It's good to have such a nice friend in residence. It helps me feel a bit more welcome to be here. I like the sweater and the card and of course--what you've written!
Thanks Sarah-- It's your 21st birthday. I'm glad to be able to do sth for you. Enjoy the crosissant!
Thanks Anita-- Just got your e-card today. I appreciate that you still bother sending card at this time. Thanks for remembering!
***
How I'm gonna start my new school year? God knows!
***
I miss Christina. Can't wait to see her sooner!
I don't think I'm ready for the new school year either! Somehow I feel weird meeting people ... I'm just not ready!
***
Thanks Sachie & Mayumi-- I enjoyed traveling with you gals! You both are good traveling partners. I know there're so many flaws in my persnality that you had to put up with along the journey. And thanks so much for being there for my birthday!
Thanks Inna-- It's good to have such a nice friend in residence. It helps me feel a bit more welcome to be here. I like the sweater and the card and of course--what you've written!
Thanks Sarah-- It's your 21st birthday. I'm glad to be able to do sth for you. Enjoy the crosissant!
Thanks Anita-- Just got your e-card today. I appreciate that you still bother sending card at this time. Thanks for remembering!
***
How I'm gonna start my new school year? God knows!
***
I miss Christina. Can't wait to see her sooner!
